


the monster under the bed

by endzone



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Park Jisung (NCT), Depression, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Homophobia, Imagination, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Na Jaemin-centric, Parenthood, Schizophrenia, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25179091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endzone/pseuds/endzone
Summary: There is a monster under Jaemin's bed.He named him Jeno.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 70





	the monster under the bed

**Author's Note:**

> TW// Mental disorders and referenced suicide. 
> 
> The referenced suicide isn't graphic, dont worry. But i still want to warn you.

Na Jaemin was six years old when he discovered that there was a monster living under his bed. Every night, after his mom tucked him to sleep, he would hear shuffling noises under his bed. Even as a child, Jaemin was rational, so he shrugged the noises off as the dust bunnies that are being swept off by the wind from his fan. 

Jaemin was a brave kid, but when the shuffling noises turned into soft giggles one rainy night, his blood ran cold and he jumped out of his bed and into his parents room. 

“There's a monster under my bed!” He had said to his parents, voice shaking. 

“What? There's no such thing as monsters, Nana.” His mom said softly as she stroked Jaemin's head to calm him down. 

“There is! It was giggling!” He argued. His dad simply pulled him in between their warm bodies and and shushed him to sleep. They didn't believe him... but Jaemin was sure that he had heard a giggle. 

  
Na Jaemin was ten when he learned that the monster under his bed is a physical entity.

“But, Dad! He's real! I can't sleep at night sometimes because he keeps whispering under my bed.” He tried to argue but his dad kept on skimming his eyes on the morning newspaper. Jaemin looked over to his mom and to his dismay, she wasn't even paying attention. 

“You know what, Jaemin. Maybe he's just trying to be friends with you. Maybe you should give him a name.” His dad said without looking up from his horoscope reading.

So that night, Jaemin braved up and marched to his room. He sat on his bed and set his feet down on the floor, establishing authority. “Come out, Jeno.”

Ten seconds passed and he didn't hear anything. He counted five more and he heard the monster chuckle. Jaemin felt a shiver down his spine and he almost ran off to his parents room. But no. He had to show the monster who's in charge, so he stayed put. 

_You have named me._

“Yes because I know that you just want a friend.” He said, determined.

Jeno giggled demonicly. _Monsters don't need friends, Jaemin._

“And why is that?”

_Because monsters are born to bring terror to young boys' hearts._ When Jeno finished his sentence, Jaemin felt a shock run through his entire body because a cold hand took hold of his ankle. 

He jumped up and he was out of his room in record time. He screamed until he reached his parents' room; and when he tried to sleep that night, he kept hearing Jeno's laughter echoing in his ears. 

  
Seventeen-year-old Na Jaemin slammed the door of his room and he plopped onto his bed. His chest was clenching and his tears flowing out of his eyes. He buried his face in his pillow to drown out his painful sobs, it was too much. Everything in his life was too much. He genuinely forgot what happiness felt like, his chest was hollow and he felt no more emotions; and when he did feel emotions, it was sorrow and fear. 

He was too busy thinking about his mistakes and misfortunes that he didn't realize that his right hand was hanging off the bed. A hand held Jaemin's hand from under the bed and it sent shivers down his spine. The hand was cold but the gesture was warm, so it confused Jaemin. 

“I'm not scared of you anymore, Jeno. I've seen and experienced worse things than you in my life.” Jaemin laid sideways on his bed as he huffed out the sentence. “I'm not the same six-year-old kid that used to run off anymore.”

_Why do you cry?_ The monster under his bed asked. His voice was deep, hollow, and haunting. That voice used to terrify him, but now, it's like the only thing in his life that hasn't changed. 

“I can't take it anymore. Everything keeps going bad for me. They say that it gets better but no! Life just keeps going downhill for me!” He sobbed out and he felt Jeno squeeze his hand tighter, like he was comforting him. “I'm failing my classes, my parents are starting to get disappointed with me, my psychiatrist diagnosed me with clinical depression and schizophrenia; and okay, maybe I am depressed but I'm _not_ schizophrenic! They think that you're not real and you're just a figment of my imagination but they just can't believe me! They think I'm crazy!”

“To top it all off, I came out to my bestfriends, thinking that they might understand and accept me as I am but—” Jaemin choked out. He tried to stop himself from sobbing out loud again but ultimately failed. His cries echoed throughout the bedroom. When he found his voice again, he continued, “but instead, they gave me one bruise each.”

“So I'm sorry if you're expecting me to be scared of you, Jeno. Now you're just another person—thing— that I've disappointed.” He finished. 

_If they do not accept you for who you are, then they are not your friends._ Jeno was still holding his hand. Jaemin doesn't know what he looks like since he had never actually seen him, but he had an image that he created in his brain. He believed that he looked like a human, just like him, considering that Jeno's voice started going deep just as his did. It was like they grew up together. But Jaemin liked to imagine that he had black holes as eyes, sharp teeth that could tear him to shreds, horns that resembled a ram's, and a devil's tail(Jaemin had seen it once, on the corner of his bedframe.) _They are just as much of a monster as I am._

“I think you're wrong.” Jaemin argued. 

_How come?_ The monster asked, confused. 

“You're here now, holding my hand as I cry. Like a real friend should be.” Jaemin was feeling incredibly brave and gave his cold hand a gentle squeeze. “Maybe you're not as much of a monster as you think you are, Jeno.”

The monster under his bed doesn't reply, but Jaemin felt his hand being squeezed softly, and it sent waves of warmth and comfort inside of him. 

And so Jaemin fell asleep like that. Tears staining his cheeks, melancholy and fondness blooming in his chest; and holding the hand of the monster under his bed.

  
“Daddy! Daddy! There's a monster under my bed!” Jisung appeared on their bedroom doorway with his little brown sock monkey in hand. It had been years since Jaemin moved out of his parents' house, he went to college, got a job, and found love for himself; and when his parents died, he didn't find it in himself to let go of his childhood home, so he moved in with his husband and son. 

Jisung is six years old now, the same age as Jaemin when he first ran into his parents' room because of the same reason, and it filled him with nostalgia, especially that Jaemin gave his old room to his adopted son. 

“Come here.” Jaemin held his arms out in front of him and welcomed Jisung in his arms. “You know, I used to have a monster under my bed too, but we became friends eventually. You should give him a name.”

“But he already has a name.” Jisung looked up to face him. 

“Really? What is it?”

“He said it's Jeno.” 

“Oh.” Suddenly, Jaemin is speechless. He felt a surge of warmth and joy in his body. Years after he left this house, he convinced himself that Jeno wasn't real and that he was actually schizophrenic; and through acknowledging that, he managed to beat his mental disorders and was able to finally breathe and live a normal life. But now, with what Jisung had revealed, he was happy to know that Jeno was not just a monster that his mind made up. He was real, and he still is. 

“Then he's not a monster, Jisungie.” Jaemin's husband spoke up and took his hand in his. Jaemin had shared everything about his life with him; his struggles, his misfortunes, his happiness, and even Jeno. “He's a guardian angel.”

Jaemin turned to him and gave him a knowing look. “Your Papa's right, Jisungie. He's a guardian angel.”

“But he told me himself that he's a monster.” Jisung looked at them with an adorable confused look. 

“If that's what he wants to call himself then so be it.” He reached over and caressed his son's cheek. “But I assure you, buddy, that he will never hurt you.” 

Jisung looked up at the ceiling, pondering whether he should go back to his room or stay in his parents' safe arms. Jaemin's husband reached over and pinched his cheek. “But if you want to stay here for the night, that's perfectly fine, bud.” 

“I think I'll go back and try to talk to him.” He said finally.

“That's our brave little chick.” Jaemin ruffled his hair and the little boy stood up and walked to the door. 

“Goodnight, Daddy. Goodnight, Papa.” He waved from the doorway with his little hand. 

“Goodnight, buddy, we love you.” 

  
Jaemin entered Jisung's room the next day. The boy was at school and Jaemin's husband was at work. He looked around at the room, he felt weird because it looked so different yet it still felt like his old room. It definitely felt smaller but maybe it was just Jaemin that grew bigger over the years. He examined the Transformers and Barbie posters that Jisung had asked his Papa to put up on his walls, he laughed a little because during his time in that room, it had been an Avengers and Frozen posters.

He went over to the bed and laid his head on the pillows. He breathed in his son's scent that stayed in the pillows and sheets, and it brought tears to his eyes. He couldn't believe that he laid in that bed all those years ago, filled with pain, fear, and sadness; he even remembered wanting to die. But now he laid in the same bed; he had a husband that loved him unconditionally, a brilliant son that always brought a smile to his face, and a life that was worth living.   
  
_It has been a long time, my dear old friend._ A voice under the bed echoed out. Jaemin had missed that voice. 

“Hello, Jeno.” He turned over on his stomach and left his head hanging off the edge of the bed. “I'm sorry that I had been away for so long.”

_Do not apologize, Jaemin. I am glad that you have finally found your happiness in all those years._ Jeno replied and Jaemin's eyes flooded with tears again. 

“I have to thank you, Jeno. For looking out for me back then. I wouldn't be alive to experience all of this happiness if it weren't for you.” Jaemin let his hand fall down on the floor. 

_You are welcome. You deserve to be happy._

“I did miss you after I left.” Jaemin smiled when a familiar cold hand took his. “Did you miss me?”

_I do admit that I did miss your presence._

“Can I ask you a favor, Jeno?” He asked. Jeno didn't respond. Instead, the monster squeezed his hand, a silent yes. “Can you look out for Jisung too? The way you looked out for me?” 

_You have my word._ Jeno answered and Jaemin is grateful. Jeno really is a guardian angel. 

A comfortable silence fell among them. Jaemin just laid there, holding Jeno's hand. After a while, Jeno spoke up. _I am still looking out for you too._

  
Jaemin woke up to a little boy jumping on his abdomen and smushing his cheeks together, giggling. “What are you doing sleeping in my room, Daddy?”

Jaemin grinned and tickled the young boy. A laugh came from the doorway and when Jaemin looked, his husband was standing there, recording everything in his phone. Jaemin held out his hand and he took it. The three of them sat on the bed, cuddling up to each other. “I was visiting a friend and I didn't realize that I fell asleep.”

“It's okay, Daddy. You can sleep here anytime you want to.” Jisung said. He was too adorable so Jaemin grabbed his son's face and smushed both of their faces together.

**Author's Note:**

> So there was a blackout last night and i just kept on thinking that what if i leave my hand hanging on the edge of my bed and the monster under my bed holds my hand. 
> 
> Am i brave or stupid? Lmao
> 
> But anyways thats how i came up with this. I hope you liked it?
> 
> And yes. I intentionally didn't mention the name of Jaemin's husband. I'll leave that up to the reader's imagination uwu
> 
> Also, I just want to remind everyone that there's so much to live for. ☺❤
> 
> Twitter: @nomindotae


End file.
